Say "Hello" to Tyler for me
I hope you're having fun
Maybe I'll get to meet him someday
I can tell him to run
He doesn't know what he's getting himself into
He doesn't know the half of a relationship with you
I intended to sound facetious
I don't really hope you're having fun

Take this dog out back
And shoot him through the heart
Mold your bullets from the coldest words
"Fuck you, we're done, now get out of my car"
A couple unspoken thoughts
I should have thrown out long ago
The first one's "Thanks a lot"
The second's "Enjoy life on your own"

Will he hold your hand on the roller coaster so you don't get scared?
Will he listen to you bitch about how life's not fair?
Will you lie down on his bed and run your fingers through his hair?
Will I pretend that I don't care?

Take this dog out back
And shoot him through the heart
Mold your bullets from the coldest words
"Fuck you, we're done, now get out of my car"
A couple unspoken thoughts
I should have thrown out long ago
The first one's "Thanks a lot"
The second's "Enjoy life on your own"

Did you really not think I'd write a song about this?
The adding of your name to my dead-to-me list
Let's get one thing straight: you're not missed
I'm just trying to forget that you even exist
So fuck off