What day is it today?
Oh me oh my oh
Tonight is Cinco de Mayo
I hope I don’t end up sh**faced
Down in some bayou
With some stranger’s dirty mitts
Feelin up my tits

See I’ve been drinkin a lot
Since you’ve been gone
The way that you left me
Was so f***in wrong
It’s like you went on that tv show
And gave me the gong

The gong show; remember?
Oh yeah!

Two weeks notice
would ‘ve been nice
Could’ve thought about it
Could’ve gotten some good advice
I know in the end
You’re gonna wanna be my mother f***in friend
But right now I just wish you were dead

I wish you were dead
With a hole in your head
Your blood on the sidewalk oozing bright red
Your body strapped down with a hundred thousand hand grenades
You’re a really great dancer
But I wish you had cancer
Or maybe mouth and genital herpes is the answer
How much better off the world would be
If you had Hepatitis C

I know it sounds mean
To say all this
But I wish you had kidney stones
So that it would hurt you real bad when you take a piss
I wish, after all my words were spoken
You’d fall from a tree and your legs would get broken

I’m really not kiddin
I wish that you were no longer livin
I wish you were not breathin
And that the spirit from your body was leavin

I wish that satan would rise up from the earth
With his firey red hands
Rip you into two pieces
And take you back down to hell
Where you belong

I really wish you were dead!