[This is spoken with the style and accent
of an evangelist preacher from the southern United States.]

Thank you very much, Mr. Zappa

Ah, I'm very pleased to be here on behalf
of the Administration
the most powerful government in the world
And, uh, Mr. Fitzwater invited me to come here tonight
to create some balance
because there has been some things done by Mr. Zappa
that I think are unfair to our country

I think, from the beginning, to say that
this is going to be balanced
when he has this *lingerie* up here
and makin' fun of *children's toys*
as a beginning, if this is what he has in mind
I think he's wrong

It's people like Mr. Frank Zappa that kept the Senate
from being able to send arms
to the democratic freedom fighters in Nicaragua!
And I, for one, am headin' down there myself
as soon as I finish up here tonight

And I want the elected official
Mr. Charlie Sanders the Democrat
to remember that "Democrat" begins with a "; D"
just like DEMON! And we'll remember you, friend
when it comes votin' time. And Margaret Boyd [?]
and Carmen Belacord [?] , despite... [?] habit
did some help to back things up

Friends, these forms cost money
And this money could be going towards
a more powerful military; this money could be going
towards driving out the illegal aliens
Instead, Mr. Zappa wants to have a bunch of young
uninformed 18 to 21-year-olds votin' here
and spendin' your money

And I just want you to know that tonight
I *love* him anyway. Because I've got love in my heart
and I'm not afraid of the fact that he turned this
into some kind of zoo up here

Sunday--that's not fair, Mr. Zappa
Sunday night used to be a night
in which Americans would get together
They'd go to their place of worship
and they would share
And I don't know why, on this night
which is supposed to be Valentine's night
there aren't more people that have a heart
that have a love affair with America
But instead, they're here on Sunday night
worshipping this man who's demon-possessed!

I ask you, Mr. Frank Zappa, what kind of man
can name a child Moon Unit?
What kind of man can name a child Dweezyl?
What kind of man can name a child Ohman?
To me, it defies the logic

And I'm comin' here tonight
because I want to share with him
just the same way we're going to give spirit power
to the democratic freedom fighters down there
our brothers that wanna have the freedom
to be able to have a man like Pat Robertson
To have a man like Mr. Dole. Restore, America!

And I'm gonna ask the power
and the joy and the power of the living king of kings
and a lot of you here, you smut-minded
musical people say, "King of kings, that must be Elvis"
No, I'm gonna ask for the power and ask for the glory
I'm gonna now, I'm gonna tell you a story
I'm gonna drive out the demons
friends. I'm gonna ask you to help this badness end
Come on Frank, let's have a story
Come on now share the glory. Do you feel the power?
Come on, put out the negativity