Well I met Don Quixote In a bar the other night He looked a little pale But he said he was alright He loved Dulcena But she left him all the same For a long black limo And a pound of rock cocaine
He looked into his whiskey And he took a little sip He said "I never had much money And I've never been too hip I couldn't buy her clothes I couldn't buy her that great big boat But I always held the door for her And helped her with her coat"
Then he turned to me and said "I hope you understand Yeah, it's tough to be Just an ordinary man"
Well I ran into Jesus At a luxury hotel I could see by his expression That he wasn't feeling well I said "What's the matter?" He said "Everything is cool" Turned my Perrier to wine Then he walked accross the pool
I stepped right up and said "This seems a little odd" He said, "Steve, it ain't easy To be the son of God And sometimes I wonder If I've got what it takes To assume responsibility For everyone's mistakes"
Then he turned to me and said "I hope you understand All I want to be Is an ordinary man"
Well the devil left a message On my answering machine He said, "I see you're going nowhere So I thought I'd make the scene If you make a few concessions Maybe I could lend a hand And you won't have to be No ordinary man"
Well I called up the devil And said, "I think I'm gonna pass Indeed I'm kinda happy Despite my sorry ass I don't need fame or fortune I don't need you All I need is my buxom woman And an occassional brew
Then I turned to him and said, "I hope you understand All I want to be Is an ordinary man"