one day when i'm famous, i'll become a stranger to friends who hung around
when i was down, when i was no one like they are now
arrogance and flashy dress, i want to fall ass backwards into success
all i have to do: is figure out how

want to start at the top of the ladder, got no talent, well that doesn't matter
besides if you deserve it, it makes it a bore
and as i grow rich, i'll move in with some blond bitch
who wouldn't talk to me before

CHORUS

when everyone's seen my picture in a magazine
i'll pack up my bags and head on home
catch up with my friends, swear i'll never to that again
just go back to being unknown

i'll be on E.T., jon tesh will come back just to interview me
if i get a clear shot, i'll shoot him dead
a movie of the week, we'll bitch and moan about being a celebrity
how my life's so great i can't get out of bed

i'll hire a ghost biographer, start to punch out fans and photographers
any critical praise will just make me irate
as i go mad with fame, talk to women in tones that would make the old me ashamed
but i'll never be without a pretty date


you'll read in the news, that i've become a reclusive stranger than howard hughes
and pseudo intellectuals will tell one another
that his material was weak, but at least he became a super freak
the kind you don't take home to mother