Bill Engvall:

I Just hate stupid people
They Should just have to wear a sign that says "I'm Stupid"
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would yah?
You wouldn't ask them anything, "Excuse me? Oh never mind, I didn't
see your sign.

It's Like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California, our
house was full of boxes, there's a U-Hal truck in our drive-way
My friend comes over and asls,
"Hey, you movin?"
"Nope, we just pack our stuff up once or twice a week, just see how
many boxes it takes"
Here's your sign

Travis Tritt:(chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with the mitsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

A couple of months ago, went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock. I lifted this big ol' stringer of bass, the idiot on
the dock goes;
"You catch all them fish?"
"Nope. Talked em into givin' up"
Here's Your Sign

I was out in the front yard, with my boy the other day and he was
playing with his little friend, and he hit his friend, and I went up to him
and said,
"Hey! We don't hit"
He looked at me like...
"Here's your sign dad"

Travis Tritt: (chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with the mitsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

I was watching one of those animal shows on the discover channel
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to
test that.
"Alright Jimmy, you got that suit on. looks gooood. They want you to
jump in this pool of sharks, and you tell us when it hurts when they
bite you"
"Well Alright, hold my sign, I don't wanna loose it."

Travis Tritt: (chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with the mitsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

Last summer I was on my way home, I was driving around, I had a
flat tire, I pulled my tuck into those side-of-the-road gas stations, the
attendent walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear to
god he went,
"Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist.
I said "Nope, not at all. I was driving around and all of a sudden the
other 3 just swelled right up on me"
Here's Your Sign

Travis Tritt: (chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with the mitsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
People with the little bitty, teny, weeny, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, guy comes over to the
house, drove the car round for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust
pipe. He goes,
"Damn that's hot!"
See if he'd been wearing a sign, I could have stopped him.