Where are those good old-fashioned balls of yesteryear?
Those good old-fashioned balls we held so dear?
Nights filled with pleasure - I'll always treasure,
Gone are the days of our balls!

Give me those good old-fashioned balls I loved so much!
And all the tender things I loved to touch!
They've been laid away, long gone is the day
When our balls were a big, big thing!

We'd have things to eat - both cold and hot meat,
All garnished so pretty and grand!
And if you were tired, but still felt inspired,
Then you could depend on your hand...
... some carriage. [handsome carriage]

Gone forever are the pretty girls...
Gone forever are the kiss-and-tells...
Folks would come for miles, they would always smile
At the sight of our balls so grand!

Everybody sing along and swish!

Where are those good old-fashioned balls of yesteryear?
Those good old-fashioned balls we held so dear?
They're such delight - both Friday and night,
Nothing but great big balls!

Bring back those good old-fashioned balls with tenderness!
Those good old-fashioned balls and fancy dress!
You'd be the hostess - who had the mostess,
If you'd but held those balls!

Today we have toasting and cha-cha-cha!
Back then we had frolicks and oomp-pah-pah!
The ladies were grand, they held in their hand
The power to pull off such balls...
... and picnics.

Dah, dah, the jubilees!
Days of majesty and and fashion Jeeves!
Balls are nevermore what they were before,
They've been replaced by a cock...
... tail party. [cocktail party]

If they could return I would rejoice!
Hoist the flag on high and raise my voice!
All I can dream of, bring back the cream of
Those balls! Balls! Balls!