Well there's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
So why don't my poor little finger got a ring

Well once upon a time, turns out it's complicated
For Tommy Lee in second grade I waited and I waited
I wrote a note on Valentine's and said check yes or no
He crumpled up my paper so I punched him in the throat

There's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
So why don't my poor little finger got a ring

Well I bought a wedding dress just in case someone was looking
I practiced all my sewin' and I practiced on my cooking
I found a handsome guy who said he'd love me like no other
But sadly mama says it doesn't count since he's my brother

'Cause there's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
So why don't my poor little finger got a ring

Well I finally got a strategy and caught myself a man
I pepper sprayed his eyeballs and I threw him in my van
I took him to the church and when at last we heard the bells
He somehow got away and now I hope he goes to

Well there's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
So why don't my poor little finger got a ring