His heart organ was where it should be
His brain was in his arse
His hand was well out of his pocket
His psyche's in the hearth



Had a beard which was weird
Some time ago heard Ramones in '81
Has a Spanish guitar



Real ale, curry as well - sophisticate!
Spanish guitar doesn't get far
In computer teaching job
His dreamgirl sings adverts for the Weetabix
A fancied wit that's imitation of Rumpole of Bailey



Who's causes and rags were phoenix-like
They were do-do like
They were comfort blanket type
Pho-do in fact
Pho-do in fact
Pho-do in fact



He had a weak pisser
And one night at darts match
Decadent sandwich quaff



He showed he was a big fan of double-entendre
Saw Not the Nine O'Clock News History of the World Part One
Twice each at least
Twice each at least
Twice each at least