Please, sir or madam, would you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be
A paperback writer,

Paperback writer!

It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the daily mail
It's a steady job,
but he wants to be
a paperback writer,

Paperback writer!

Paperback writer
Writer, writer

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few
I'll be writing more in a week or two
I can make it longer if you like the style
I can change it 'round, but I want to be
a paperback writer,

Paperback writer!

If you really like it, you can have the right
You can make a million for you overnight
If you must return it, you can send here
But I need a break,
and I want to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer!

Paperback writer
Writer, writer

Paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer