Jesus was a prestidigitarian
Say, Jesus was a prestidigitarian
Turn water into wine
Made all the folks feel fine

Jesus was the best son of Mary
Say, Jesus was the best son of Mary
It's just like believing
In Santa Claus and fairies

Every Sunday we pray to Jesus
We pray for money and we pray for love
Every day we kill for Jesus
We kill for money in the name of God

Adam created Eve from a rib
Say, Adam created Eve from a rib
Now we're all holes
Just made to sin

Jesus was a short-haired man of color
Say, Jesus was a short-haired man of color
We like 'cause believe he
Called everybody brother

Every Sunday we pray to Jesus
We pray for money and we pray for love
Every day we kill for Jesus
We kill for money in the name of God

There once was a man who thought that
If he ate all the pages in the bible
He can kill most anything
In 1913 he died of a stroke
When he tried to eat the book of kings

Muslims, Mormons, Catholics and the Christians
There's the Muslims, Mormons, Catholics and the Christians
Which one do you think your lord is best?
Which one do you think your lord is best?