Hey Robert I know looks can be deceiving
but I'm the perfect girl for you
I like your dog, think you're cute drunk
Love that funny face you do

Well all your flaws go away when I see your face
But some soap and some perfume may do you good someday
Hey Robert, boy you might have me believing
you find no girls just if you turn gay

[CHORUS]
'Cuz I can't help it if you're cute in every angle
Can't help it if I wanna grab you on your way home
Come on and bite me, see if you can work some magic
You'll probably just hurt my neck, but
oh... I can't help myself

Hey Robert, I've been standing in this line
'cuz I wanna take a pic with you
I've seen you online
and I love all the shit you say
on the interviews you do

Green or gold, boy your eyes are always beautiful
Ask your Buda and he will tell you I was made for you
Hey Robert, when I scream to you "I Love You"
Doesn't smile and keep walking through

[CHORUS]

I'll help you with your drive
I'll play the guitar while you clean your filthy place
And as we walk outside, though you ain't no vampire
People will stare...
'Cuz you shine, shine, shine

Hey Robert, we could give you a hundred reasons
why we should be the fans you choose
All those other girls, they're hysterical
But could they write this song for you?