Well, I'm in a mess
and I need a friend
I've been thinkin' 'bout success
and how the story might end
but with friends like these
who needs enemies?
They've been lurking around
I see them coming down
and

Here comes Mr. Flutter
He and Mrs. Dread, well, they love each other
Gonna build a haunted house
and be my father and mother
They're tyin' the knot
in the middle of my gut
and they both want kids
so there's one in the oven
They've picked out a name
(he's called "little Nothin'")
I think he was born to be
my kissin' cousin

He's pullin' the chain
in the middle of my brain
Well, I'm tryin' to write a song
but I don't have the words
and my kids need a doctor
but I'm not insured
and my wife she looks pale
she got the check in the mail
and it's not the amount
we were thinkin' about

I got a friend on high
and he feels my pain
but I still got this dust
flowin' through my veins
and I wanna have faith
and I wanna know grace
but it's hard to break through
when the rent's overdue