{*TV changing channels*}
"Rapper T. I. "
"3 Grammy nomination... "
"With the second highest debut on the hip-hop... "
"If you look left there's a monkey next to an anaconda"
"Sentenced to probation... " - "BBC"
"Philant John... " - "Philant Johnson, gunned down"
"In a hail of gun... "
"... suffered a miscarriage"
"ATL opens with a... "
"Featuring with the acting debut of rapper T. I. "

[T. I.]
Man, I ain't sign up for this shit
I lost my partner, and lost my life homes
Man fuck this shit, I'm done

Ay, listen homes, get Atlantic on the phone, go on call 'em
And tell Craig, Julie, Kevin, and Kyles
I need to holla at 'em
First I gotta let 'em know I'm tired of rappin
Fuck the money, ever since Phil died I ain't happy
Hey what's happenin, we under new operations
Though we ready for whatever
we like ya cooperation better
Listen when I'm talkin, throw it off, I ain't patient
I'mma tell ya once then start countin shell cases
Don't mean to scare you but this bullshit is irritatin
I'mma tell you like it is shawty, I ain't fin' to play
I feel like another case comin round the corner any day
I know the consequences
I'm the same nigga anyway - anyway
It's way more important than what I'm fin' ta say
Do what I say or I ain't droppin shit 'til twenty twenty-eight
(Who gives a fuck if he comes on the 20th for 28th?)
{He said the year 2028 you fucking moron!}
Listen guys, on that B-I shit
It's T. I. P. from here on out, fuck that T. I. shit
Give a damn what any nigga gotta say 'bout this
(Yo check this cat) Yeah I think it's best to say I did it
Don't be e-mailin no itineraries, I won't get it
Ya best bet just holla when they fill the jet
Tell Cindy ain't no photo shoots and I ain't interviewin
Refuse and I'll build a subdivision and shoot a dozen movies
{Cash that check and be spendin our money}
You right about that honey, thanks for doin that for me
Speakin of money
you can always buy me out but the price high
I ain't none of T. I. nigga, no mo' Mr. Nice Guy

[Lyor Cohen]
Listen kid, understand me here (what?)
This is Lyor Cohen (yeah yeah)
You better treat this company with some respect
(ha ha ha ha)
And you better not be playin with my motherfuckin money

[Outro: T. I.]
Oh I got ya motherfuckin money partner, but I ain't playin
You got any sense you'll do what the fuck I say
I ain't sellin no goddamn albums
And that ain't no threat
that's a motherfuckin promise jack!
Come and see me if you want it
Get it like the Red Cross nigga!
{*phone hangs up and dial tone*}

[Repeat to fade]
Hustle pimp, hustle pimp

{*busy signal*}
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator. "