I've got a snapshot of your Aunt Maureen
She's ninety and you're a teen
I'm trying to cheer you up
Don't be so mean, don't be so mean


Crash, bam, now you're looking good
Tip-top, now you're feeling good
Once more, here's your Aunt Maureen
Don't you feel good? Don't you feel good?


Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on TV screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens


Wake up to music
And say you're too sick
To go to work


Soon, you will lose all your zits
Tight sweaters no longer fit
Jet setters will make their pitch
I told you so, I told you so
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on TV screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens


Don't eat that ice cream
Is it vanilla?
Give it to me
Don't eat that pastry
What's in the middle?
Give it to me
Don't eat that burger
Has it got mayonnaise?
Give it to me


Keep that mystique up
And wear a D cup
No matter what
Don't eat no curry
Before a very
Important date

Do I look so knowing and old and wise?
Maybe it's those Dacron ties
How come you keep asking me
For tips for teens? For tips for teens?


Crash, bam, now you're looking good
Tip-top, now you're feeling good
Once more, here's your Aunt Maureen
Don't you feel good? Don't you feel good?


Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on TV screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens


Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on TV screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on TV screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens…