I've been to Paris and London
And Tokyo town
But one crazy 'berg
Has 'em all beat hands down

I'm talkin' Springfield!
You can buy chimichangas
Talkin' Springfield!
The chicks with big gazongas?
There's tires on fire
A guy named Apu
And Skinner and Grampa
And old Disco Stu
Did I forget to mention you?

"You"? That's me!

I'm talkin' Springfield
Where nobody sucks!
(Except for Flanders.)

My kitty died
On Christmas Eve
Daddy told me to be brave
But instead of singing carols
I was digging Snowball's grave

I'm in the final two
I should be happy
But all I want to do
Is spend more time
With my pappy
Now that you're gone, Dad
I miss you so much
And your threats against teamsters
And techies and such
Your management style
Is like Attila the Hun
You were vicious, malicious
But you got the job done
I'm sorry I hurt you
Now please don't be sad
You're no longer my coach
But you're always my dad

I'm a privileged boy
It's great, I gotta tell ya!
Privileged boy
My dad can buy and sell ya!
It really doesn't matter
That you're on the list in front of me
I'm gonna get your table
Cuz I always tip the maitre d'
And then I'll go to Yale
Because I am a legacy!
I'm better than you!