They broke in my house without a sound
Took whatever wasn't nailed down
Police said, what you need is a few more locks
It's just a joke, a game they play
Wait a month till the insurance pays
Then steal the next TV fresh out of the box

Everybody's Stealing (bits and pieces)
Everybody's Stealing (bits and pieces)
Everybody's Stealing bits and pieces of me
Everybody's Stealing (bits and pieces)
Everybody's Stealing (Bits and pieces)
Everybody's Stealing bits and pieces of me

Up a dark alley, feared for my life
Couple of chancers with a cosh and a knife
Couple of crackheads only looking for cash
Said, kneel down here, old man, will yer
Just kneel down and we won't have to kill yer
Don't shout out and don't do anything rash

The taxman takes his good old chunk
The landlord the same for this pile of junk
And I pay the council and then they pay the bizzies
But the cops can't catch a bleedin' cold
And all the excuses are getting old
My dog's the only one I can trust – or is he?

Had an idea once upon a time
Told my friend, he thought it was fine
He told his friend and his friend liked it too
Then his friend took it to his second cousin
Who makes these things by the umpteen dozen
That's when I realized, brother, you've been screwed

Everybody's Stealing (bits and pieces)
Everybody's Stealing (bits and pieces)
Everybody's Stealing bits and pieces of me
But the woman I love
Well bless her soul
At least she only stole my virginity
(That's what I told her)