[Lights fade up on the street: the front-door area of] [MARK and ROGER's building. Nearby is a battered public pay phone.] [TOM COLLINS stands at the phone.]
[COLLINS]
"Chestnuts roasting ---"
[ROGER AND MARK]
[as MARK picks up the phone] Collins!
[COLLINS]
I'm downstairs
[MARK]
Hey!
[COLLINS]
Roger picked up the phone??
[MARK]
No, it's me.
[COLLINS]
Throw down the key.
[MARK pulls out a small leather pouch and drops it off] [the apron downstage center as if from a window; a weighted leather] [pouch plops down from "upstairs." COLLINS catches it.]
[MARK]
A wild night is now pre-ordained
[Two THUGS appear from above, with clubs. They are obviously close] [to attacking COLLINS, who says back into the phone...]
[COLLINS]
I may be detained.
[THUGS mime beating and kicking COLLINS,] [who falls to the ground as lights on him fade.]
[MARK]
What does he mean...? [Phone rings again] What do you mean "detained"?
[Lights come up on BENNY, who's on a cellular phone.]
[BENNY]
Ho ho ho.
[MARK AND ROGER]
Benny! Shit.
[BENNY]
Dudes, I'm on my way
[MARK AND ROGER]
Great! Fuck.
[BENNY]
I need the rent
[MARK]
What rent?
[BENNY]
This past year's rent which I let slide
[MARK]
Let slide? You said we were 'golden'
[ROGER]
When you bought the building
[MARK]
When we were roommates
[ROGER]
Remember -- you lived here!?
[BENNY]
How could I forget? You, me, Collins and Maureen How is the drama queen?
[MARK]
She's performing tonight
[BENNY]
I know. Still her production manager?
[MARK]
Two days ago I was bumped
[BENNY]
You still dating her?
[MARK]
Last month I was dumped
[ROGER]
She's in love
[BENNY]
She's got a new man?
[MARK]
Well -- no
[BENNY]
What's his name?
[BOTH]
Joanne
[BENNY]
Rent, my amigos, is due Or I will have to evict you Be there in a few
[ROGER defiantly picks out Musetta's theme from] [Puccini's La Boheme on the electric guitar. The fuse blows on the amp.]