Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who ran naked through the Parthenon
[COLLINS carries ANGEL's pickle tub, now filled with provisions.]
[MARK AND COLLINS]
Bustelo -- Marlboro Banana by the bunch A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good
[COLLINS]
And firewood
[MARK]
Look -- it's Santa Claus
[COLLINS]
Hold your applause
[ROGER]
Oh hi
[COLLINS]
'Oh hi' after seven months?
[ROGER]
Sorry
[COLLINS]
This boy could use some Stoli
[COLLINS, MARK AND ROGER]
Oh holy night
[ROGER]
You struck gold at MIT?
[COLLINS]
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality Which I'll soon impart To the couch potatoes at New York University Still haven't left the house?
[ROGER]
I was waiting for you, don't you know?
[COLLINS]
Well, tonight's the night Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show
[ROGER]
No flow
[COLLINS]
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde Angel Dumott Schunard!
[ANGEL sashays in. He's gorgeously done up in Santa drag,] [with a fan of twenty-dollar bills in each hand.]
[ANGEL]
Today for you -- tomorrow for me Today for you -- tomorrow for me
[COLLINS]
And you should hear her beat!
[MARK]
You earned this on the street?
[ANGEL]
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A When a lady in a limousine drove my way She said, "Dahling -- be a dear -- haven't slept in a year I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear" "This Akita-Evita just won't shut up I believe if you play non-stop that pup Will breathe its very last high-strung breath I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death" Today for you -- tomorrow for me Today for you -- tomorrow for me We agreed on a fee -- A thousand dollar guarantee Tax-free -- and a bonus if I trim her tree Now who could foretell that it would go so well But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell After an hour -- Evita -- in all her glory On the window ledge of that 23rd story Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews Today for you -- tomorrow for me Today for you -- tomorrow for me
[ANGEL does a fabulous drum and dance solo.]
Then back to the street where I met my sweet Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet Sing it! Today for you -- tomorrow for me Today for you -- tomorrow for me Today for you -- tomorrow for me Today for you -- tomorrow for me