(I've heard)
(I've heard)
(I've heard)

I've been hearing 'bout 'dad bods' a little too long
So what about my muffin top is wrong?
Suckin' in really sucks
Even if I had a million bucks
I'd hire Jillian Michaels and I'd probably still give up

I can't be the only one who likes
Extra fries over exercise
I never eat the produce that I buy
So why even try?
You can't spell 'diet' without 'die'
I've been eatin' carbs since '95
And I've heard thick thighs save lives

God bless the Kardashians for bringing curves back
And all the sexy one-pieces hangin' on the racks
If you can't handle these love handles
You can find me at McDonald's
And trust me, we'll be lovin' it

I can't be the only one who likes
Extra fries over exercise
I never eat the produce that I buy
So why even try?
You can't spell 'diet' without 'die'
I've been eatin' carbs since '95
And I've heard thick thighs save lives

Now I can't tell you what is gluten-free
But I can tell you
You won't catch me counting calories
Or macros, or net carbs
Or hell, MSG

I can't be the only one who likes
Extra fries over exercise
I never eat the produce that I buy
So why even try?
You can't spell 'diet' without 'die'
I've been eatin' carbs since '95
And I've heard thick thighs save lives

And I've heard thick thighs save lives
So love thyself