Hey kids, do you know what you're getting for christmas this year?
No
Well let me tell you about it!

For little Johnny there'll be video games underneath the tree
And Sally in Ohio will get Malibu Barbie
For little Elmer Johnson, old socks that smell like pee
I know what you're getting for Christmas

For the homeless in the street, there'll be tin cans and rain
For the plumber in his saggy pants, another clogged up drain
For the millionaire in the mansion, more money and cocaine!
I know what you're getting for Christmas

Singing Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la.
I know what you're getting for Christmas

For the ladies, A new perfume, with the same old smell
And for the TV Preacher, more Jesus to sell
How about a new Burrito from Taco Bell?
I know what you're getting for Christmas

Singing Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la .Fa la. Fa la.
I know what you're getting for Christmas

For the drunkard in the bar, another glass of booze
For the gambler in Las Vegas, another hand to lose
For the grammar school nerd, another bully to fight
For the lonely and disheartened, another endless night
And all the pretty girls will get another kiss