My Ruin

Terror

My Ruin


this is what you call me...
i strike terror among men
i can't be bothered with what they think
i bare my cross, my soul, myself
i forgive... but i never forget
i've been put upon this earth in female form
but i can handle myself with the best of you
as well as the worst
and i often have
i have the right to remain silent
but i choose to speak, sing, scream
i am lips, hips, tits... i am the power of a woman
strong like music
true like friendship
but without my friends there would be no music... only spoken word

fucker!

i am able to change
so i live without regret, without remorse only a remix
i am drunk, i am sober
heaven doesn't want me and hell's afraid i'll take over
don't bother trying to censor me or shut me up
because it won't work
i am cold and distant yet warm and close
to those who deserve to see that side of me
part of me... the heart of me
you find me so hard to understand in your world
the world you perceive to be so normal
i am deformed... scorned, reborn
i am me
and i know exactly who i am, what i am and the wrath i bring
the ugly beauty, the lying truth, the virgin whore... the quiet storm
a lover, a fighter, a saint, a sinner, a sister, a daughter
old school...... a beginner
i have decorated myself with love, hate, truth.... you
all of you, both of you, none of you... more than one of you
with lips like sugar, eyes like meat
i've watched men come, go and cheat
i sleep to dream and dream of sleep
i had a dream joe
that you were standing in the middle of an open road
i had a dream joe
that your hands were raised up to the sky
and your mouth was covered in foam
i've been crucified, justified and mortified by my behaviour
both feminine and masculine i am a contradiction and juxtaposition
my relief is my release and only time will tell
all's well that ends well
i am unsweetened, unclean.... been called drama queen
ex girlfriend, ex member... the tantrum, the temper
i point my finger... take the blame
and this time i will own the name
because nobody is going to ruin me, if i have to i will ruin myself..
and it will be 'my ruin'
fucker!

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