'Would the last communist out
Switch off the lights?'
They shout as they go
Into the night

They think that it's over
Maybe it is
But I'm staying here
Alone with this promise

In my mind
It still exists
I'm the last communist
Alone in the Soviet Union

In the Soviet Union
There's a lightswitch on the wall
In the Soviet Union
And a canteen down the hall
In the Soviet Union
I make faces with a torch
In the Soviet Union
In the mirror on the back of the bathroom door
In the Soviet Union
Shining up the lino on the corridor floor
In the Soviet Union
Eating dead pigeons cold and raw
In the Soviet Union
Drinking vodka through a straw
In the Soviet Union
Weeping for the visions Lenin saw

I like it here, I like it fine
The radiator's warm
The bus is on time

And healthcare is free
A job is for life
The caretaker is me
I'm switching on the lights

In my mind
It will exist
I'm the first communist
Alive in the Soviet Union

(In the world of freedom)
You lived a long time ago
You filled your shoes with six black toes
You rode to work on a big skateboard
And swiped your celery barcode
Exploding filippino washing machines
Your sinister servants watch TV
You shake our palm trees violently
Until the coconuts fill your plastic tray
You're writing up the budget and you're purchasing supplies
It's always someone else's turn to die
You're launching major missile strikes
To prove you'll never drink Zamzam cola
The car protecting your child is killing mine
You're blinded by the headlights on the autobahn
A chimp made off with your sports jacket, boy
Your king is a monkey and a mongoloid

Today I'm alone
The war hasn't even begun
But your king hasn't won
One day you'll come

It's so clear
Our future's here
I am just the caretaker
All is forgiven!
Come back communism!