When I was a little whippersnapper of a boy just 19 years of age
And I happened to stain the sheets on the bed or I happened to misbehave
The stains were lovingly washed away in a tub of soapy water
By the ladies I protected from a world of horrible slaughter

Then when at last I came of age and had to make my way
I set up shop with a dozen girls, so popular was I
I marched them up to the top of the town and there I had them loiter
There are many worse ways to earn your pay
In a world of horrible slaughter

But whenever a piece of ultraviolent thuggery is done
And the world looks on with heart in mouth, speechless and stunned
Remember that every offender is his own mother's son
Here is the song that I have always sung:

Give me mass in the morning, the booky's at noon
The brothel all night long
But I'll always be true to the ladies, the ladies understand
I'm their favourite
They love me, I treat them like shit

One of my girls did a runner one day with a lad from the orchestra
Who scraped a living on a violin and stayed at home with Ma
I ground his instrument into the ground
And Tracy, when I caught her, that time got off lightly
In this world of horrible slaughter

Now I've got a little whippersnapper of my own
Just at the difficult age
And if he happens to slash a girl to test
His army penknife blade
The blood is lovingly washed away in a tub of soapy water
By the girls he may protect one day from a world of horrible slaughter

Give me mass in the morning, the booky's at noon
The brothel all night long
But I'll always be true to the ladies
The ladies understand
I'm their favourite
They love me
I treat them like shit