The Tamagotchi will speak to no-one today
He does not even read your paper anyway
We cannot guarantee he will appear at Cannes
And if he does he'll do no one-to-ones

He is asleep
And when he wakes he will need to be fed
Then he will sing
Then he will go back to bed

No interviews with Mr Tamagotchi today
We are dismayed by your attempts to invade his privacy
Please go away! Please, go away!

His painting exhibition is at Andrea Rosen
His rock band rocks the Buddokan
And his book 'I, Tamagotchi' is in its third impression this week
But Mr Tamagotchi is asleep

No interviews with Mr Tamagotchi today
We are dismayed by your attempts to invade his privacy
Please go away! Please, go away!
Goodbye!

Please go away! Good day! (Hoppit!)
No interviews today