This is the tale of Robin Hood
Kind and fair, brave and good
This is the tale of Robin Hood
How the guy got shafted

Robin Hood, Robin Hood
Robbing from the rich, giving to the good
Robin Hood, Robin Hood
Happy ever after

But driving down from Nottingham, here comes Dooh Nibor
His motto is 'Protection' and his motto is 'Screw the poor'
Dooh Nibor, Dooh Nibor
Serve the rich, screw the poor
Don't let the bastard grind you down

He drags you to the granary out among the cranes
At the end of the runway underneath the planes
In a big black suit that looks a little strange
With the gold crash hat in the rays of the sun
With the visor black and the baseball bat and the...

Robin Hood, Robin Hood
You're not dead yet, it's just some blood
Robin Hood, Robin Hood
Get back and show the bastard!

Robin Hood, Robin Hood
Bound and gagged in the nude
Robin Hood, in the boot
Of an Opel Corsa

As the pylons glisten in the sun of Dooh Nibor
The world below him listens, there's no place for you here any more
We pull our golden helmets on and turn to face the sun
Don't let the bastards grind you down

He's got you cuffed at the reservoir up above the dam
With a gag and a blindfold shitting in your pants
Clambering on scaffolding, stumbling on planks
Look out, Robin! (Too late!)

Robin Hood, Robin Hood
Breathing through a rubber tube
Sherwood Forest is your club
Sherwood Forest for the cup

Robin Hood, Robin Hood
In a wheelchair buying food
Paralysed but feeling good
Mentally retarded

Pull your golden helmet on and take a golden ride
Kidney dialysis colostomy bag by your side
Robin Hood, Robin Hood, breathing through your rubber tube
Don't let the bastards grind you down!