It’s 12:05 a.m.
There’s no sign of Big Red
The chimney’s looking fine
I’ll be waiting here all night

Why’s all the milk still here
Where’d all the cookies go
Why’s Santa’s body on the roof?

The snow is falling down in Hogsmeade
Malfoy is losing a snowball fight
The thestrals have had their fill of eggnog
And Peeves is singing Silent Night

Why’s the milk still here?
Where’d all the cookies go?
Why’s Santa’s body on the roof?

It’s 3:05 a.m.
Voldemort ate Santa’s brain
He didn’t gain more power
Turns out Death Eaters eat cookies too