On a bus ride into town
I wondered "why am I going to town?"
I looked around at the billboards
and the stories I thought,
"Why do I look around?"
So I got out and I bowed
and kissed the filthy ground
The first dry spot I found
I laid down without having to wonder
why I was laying down.
Before long I was too cold
and so took a bus back to the station
I found a letter left by a pay phone
with no return contact information.
It was addressed:
To total strangers,
It read like a horn blown by some sad angel.
"Bunny, it was me who let you down"
It was the shyest attempt
I'd ever seen at conversation

If I didn't have You as my guide,
I'd still wander lost in Sinai
Counting the plates
of cars from out-of-state,
(How I could jump in their path
they hurry along!)
Until You surround me,
You're pretty but you're all I can see
Like a thick fog -
If there was no way into God
I would never have laid in this
grave of a body for so long.

St. Cyril's fair always came
through the first week of September
But it's already the 19th
and there's no sign of it yet.
I have a hard time remembering
the things i should remember
and a hard time forgetting
the things I should forget.
Oh Christ when You're ready to come back,
I think I'm ready for You to come back
But if You want to stay
Wherever exactly it is you are,
That's ok too -
It's really none of my business

If I didn't have You as my guide
I'd still be wandering lost in Sinai
Or down by the tracks
watching trains go by to remind me.
There are places that aren't here.
I had a well,
But all the water left
So i'll ask Your forgiveness
With every breath,
If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this
body of a grave...so long, dear.


(by raft)