[MRS BRILL] Katie Nana! Who gets stuck with the children with no nanny in the house? Me, that's who!
[KATIE NANA] I've said my say, Mrs Brill, and that's all I'll say. I've done with this house forever!
[MRS BRILL] Well, good riddance, then.
[WINIFRED] Katie Nana! Gone? Are you quite sure
[MRS BRILL] Gone! And is it any wonder?
[WINIFRED] Choosing the right nanny I keep drawing blanks Do you really think I made another blunder What on earth am I to say to Mr Banks?
George, dear I'm feeling so bereft, dear Another nanny's left, dear Every nanny goes We're unlucky, I suppose
[WINIFRED, MRS BRILL, JANE, MICHAEL & ROBERTSON AY] We are never going to find the perfect nanny
[GEORGE] Nonsense!
Precision and order That's all that I ask The running of a household A straightforward task The children, the servants They're all your domain Whilst I remain the sovereign Of Cherry Tree Lane Coat!
[MRS BRILL] Coming, sir.
[GEORGE] The simple truth is you’ve engaged six nannies over the last four months and they’ve all been unqualified disasters.
A nanny should govern A nanny should rule A nanny is a paragon Who suffers no fool A nanny’s a stalwart Our children would gain By having such a nanny In Cherry Tree Lane
[WINIFRED] Of course, George but--
[GEORGE] So take control of situations Show your authority When interviewing staff You know your role They know their stations Efficiency and forethought Cut the jobs in half Briefcase.
[WINIFRED] I thought Katie Nana would be firm with the children. She always looked so cross.
[GEORGE] Winifred, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.
[WINIFRED] Clear thinking, sound judgement
[GEORGE] That’s how to advance
[GEORGE & WINIFRED] Then things will run like clockwork
[GEORGE] Leave nothing to chance When nannies go missing The answer is plain Our children must be monsters
[WINIFRED] Oh how can they be monsters?
[GEORGE & WINIFRED] In Cherry Tree Lane
[GEORGE] Umbrella.
[WINIFRED] Oh, if only we could find someone like your old nanny.
[GEORGE] I’m afraid that’s not realistic, my dear. Few women alive could manage Miss Andrew’s standards of efficiency. Besides, we could never afford someone of her calibre.
[MRS BRILL & ROBERTSON AY] Precision and order He wants nothing less
[ROBERTSON AY] It’s like an army barracks
[MRS BRILL] Yes, and we’re in a mess
[MRS BRILL & ROBERTSON AY] No wonder the nannies are driven insane We’re living in a madhouse In Cherry Tree Lane
[GEORGE] Now, place an advertisment in the Times stating that Jane and Michael Banks require the best possible nanny… At the lowest possible wage.
[JANE] Father, we’ve written our own advertisment.
[GEORGE] What?
[WINIFRED] Oh please, George, I think we should hear it.
[JANE] Wanted. A nanny for two adorable children.
[GEORGE] Adorable? Well, that's debatable, I must say.