Dear Father, I hope I've healed proper Hope the scars you left won't touch salt water And the grudge in my heart no longer spread far Prayin' for the days we get through dinner with no problems It's hard not to put the blame on you Every day I'm afraid that I'm the same as you Maybe it's cope thinkin' I'll do better But the family gene, the rage, I know it came from you The best and the worst, I'm doomed to inherit The love and the hate make the perfect parents And you tried your best, that much, I'll admit it But when you at your worst, well, that's family business
Well, that's family business Well, that's family business Family business
And my culture tell me I should be grateful Common practice of shamin', they call it bein' playful Feel the weight of disgrace and the disappointin' gazes Under the facade of they fake appraises, I know they hateful I tell myself I'll be better Tell myself I'll never say the same shit that you had said to us either Never tell my kids to go die in a ditch or wherever Never tell my kids they trash 'cause they failed at whatever And granted, I know that life was never easy for you I understand trauma left you with no peace in your mood Deceivin', rage bleed in everythin' that you do Your father passed before you could be at peace with him too I know, I tell myself I'll be better I tell myself that but I feel your rage in my veins when I'm fed up Starin' at the mirror, see the exact same errors And every time I seem to fail, all I feel is embarrassed And they tell me that you changed that you grew 'cause of age But I'm cynical, I'm knowin' that deep down you the same 'Cause I be hearin' how you speak about your daughter to shame Even though she doin' great, I hear the same type of hate Daddy issues, I guess I can't help it Tell myself I'm better, really I am just as selfish Only focused on where my wealth is It's funny, now I'm grown you say that money can't replace your health But as a kid, you had told me get on my shit Hustled every single dollar, nickels, down to the cent And maybe you had forgot, but I could never forget Every single time you told me to go die in a ditch Now I'm 'posed to get through it and let it go? Forgiveness is a pill I can't swallow, I tend to choke I'm petty and sensitive, part of the family though Where did I get it from? Bet you already know And I should be thankin' you, you why they lovin' me You my role model 'cause you who I don't wanna be But I can't let you go, no matter how good it seems Family is everythin' even if it is burnin' me Family is everythin' even if that family tree Echoes of our trauma passin' down with the family gene Suffocate our feelings, replace it with animosity Never stay the victim, we stoic because we gotta be On the plate of illness can't show the pain that be plaguin' me Even if it's death, our last breath ain't complacency Even if it's love, it ain't enough, that's just make believe Even at the end, can't show 'em how much the pain it stings Just like us, the best and the worst, I'm doomed to inherit The love and the hate make the perfect parents And you tried your best, that much, I'll admit it But when you at your worst, well, that's family business