Look at you, you spry little ol' thing
You're just figuring it all out, aren't you?
Well, I know you didn't ask
But there's a few things I've learned along the way
That I may or may not have learned the hard way
And if I could offer you any advice, it would be

Don't fry your bacon naked
And don't kiss a man who's taken
You don't wanna get popped with your clothes off (Ouch)
Stay off the pills and powder
Stick to what grows in the ground
And don't you drink tequila 'til your clothes come off

For legal reasons, this is just a joke
If you're the law, then I'm blowing smoke
Don't let temptation be your TNT
Take it from me, take it from me
This song will self-destruct in one
two, three (One, two, three)

You're crying over him again?
Honey, he doesn't even own a bed frame
and you're crying over him?
Well, from my experience when it comes to men

Ain't no man that's worth your crying
Less'n that you think he's dying
Many tears can lead to hotel mini bars
And don't hit him with your Chevy
Don't pick up a lamp, that's heavy
Hit him with your words, don't hit him with your car

For legal reasons, this is just a joke
If you're the law, then I'm blowing smoke
Don't let your temper be your TNT
Take it from me, take it from me
This song will self-destruct in one
two, three (One, two, three)
Uh-huh

Honey, in your life
there will be ups and downs, tears and beers
Friends and men who come and go
But just keep your chin and your tits up
And one last thing I think you should know before you go

Keep your smile like a daisy
Keep your hair wild and crazy
Don't let the world try to iron you out
Don't forget your mama's raising
Get on out there, guns a-blazing
If you take your shot, you better make it count

Ditch the liquor and put down the smokes
And leave the bad boys all alone
These lessons, they don't come with guarantees
But take it from me, take it from me
These may or may not be stories from me
Oh, but take it from me, take it from me
This song will self-destruct in one
two, three (One, two, three)