Lard It's all of us, man In our pores and in our hair
Lard's What we conceal With these corny clothes we wear
Lard is all Lard is divine Lard is control Lard whips and chains our soul
Lard, We carry credit cards Lard, We live in fear of art
Lard is the OM Lard is revolution Lard is the tapeworm In the bottle of cheap tequila That comes alive at night And sneaks up And bites your nipple
Lard Lard
Nowadays, most of us need someone To run our personal life Someone to see that The plants are watered, Someone to make sure the place is clean, Someone to make sure dinner is waiting, Someone to call for theatre tickets, Someone to make up those cheap excuses
What we need is
Lard, The answer Lard, The dancer Lard, The ointment Lard, The dream Absorb it Inflame it Respect it Molest it The country right now just wants to be Soothed, and told it doesn't have to pay or Sacrifice or learn No one is over the hill When the mountain comes to Mohammed
Lard Lard Lard
Lard, We love to eat Lard, We love to pray Lard, Mold over mind Lard, Hooray
Every time I take a crap It's a cosmic experience
Religion and chemicals Are the key to the future
Next time we have sex Just pretend I'm Ed Meese
The weasels have it down, man It's a whole new age
Lard
Which would you prefer A computer or a gun
The sharks out lived the dinosaurs, you know
Pity the poor trainer In the stable when the race horse farts
Poison oak really is The aphrodisiac of the Gods
When people are asleep We must all become alarm clocks
Hey, man Life is my college
It's Dental Floss of the mind Who will babysit the babysitters
Ever hear about that guy in New York whose dick Fell off in the bath after he shot it full of coke
It's OK to run out of butter in Zambia Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast
Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup Which came first- Max Headroom or Gerald Ford
Are you a man or are you a mouse If you love your fun- Die for it
And feel The Power of Lard The Power of Lard The Power of Lard The Power of Lard