I'm tired of self-respect
I can't afford a car
I wanna be a prefab superstar

I wanna be a tool
Don't need no soul
Wanna make big money
Playing rock and roll

I'll make my music boring
I'll play my music slow
I ain't no artist, I'm a businessman
No ideas of my own

Iwon't offend
Or rock the boat
Just sex and drugs
And rock and roll

Droll, droll, droll, droll, droll, droll....my payola!
Droll, droll, droll, droll, droll, droll....my payola!

You'll pay ten bucks to see me
On a fifteen foot high stage
Fatass bouncers kick the shit
Out of kids who try to dance

If my friends say
I've lost my guts
I'll laugh and say
That's rock and roll

But there is just one problem....

Chorus:
Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star

Give me a toot
And I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

And when I'm rich
And meet Bob Hope
We'll shot some golf
And shoot some dope

(Repeat chorus)