I used to be a sinner, used to have my cake and eat it They warned me of my fate, but I was quite prepared to meet it You'll go to Hell they smiled at me And told me of the roaring fires But I was happy living wild And fueling my own desires I was a wild man Drinking, smoking and messing around with women Lots of women No, not swimming, women
I wanna go to Heaven The place to be is right up there I wanna go to Heaven It's gonna be good so I won't despair
I decided to reform and pray Beg mercy for my soul I prayed in church Threw away my bad habits Prayed out of church Adopted an entirely different role I gave my money to the poor until I was poor But at least I ensured that I would go up there Instead of down below to the Inferno Where the evil flames of desire Burned higher and higher and higher
I'm gonna go to Heaven Paid my dues so I'm getting in I'm gonna go to Heaven It's looking good if I abstain from sin
I knocked on the pearly gates Neatly side-stepping the long queue Waved hi to St. Peter Who checked my card and let me through I smiled, threw my hands in the air Laughed and got arrested They said hey man, you're in the wrong place Your behaviour is a disgrace Here we pray every hour, on the hour Read extracts from the Bible and look solemn' What, says I, no party? No party? Let me out
Let me out of Heaven I got it wrong, no I can't stay here No laughing in Heaven Let me out, I just can't stay here
Well I ran around in the state of shock and panic This wan't what I expected Here was what looked like a bunch of manic depressives Can I get a transfer, I screamed But no, once you're in Heaven, you're here for good The good of your soul, but that's no good for me If you want to go to Hell you've really got to be bad Okay, okay, I'll be bad Too late What do you mean too late Too late No In the meantime
Let me out of Heaven I've got it wrong, no I can't stay here No laughing in Heaven Oh God, it's awful here Going crazy in Heaven Take me out and let me go to hell No laughing in Heaven Don't laugh, this place is Hell