I'ma start on three Time to play the keys I'ma start on c Had to pay dues, had to start on free Before I can help you I gotta start on me I mean I've never been the type to, type you Never feels right when I write you I just wanna fight you Insight new feeling But its hard to make the rounds Make life sound great But it's harder than it sounds And I don't know why they wanna blame me Made a little money But I'll never let it change me Made a lot of money now a nigga feeling angry Because in the end well I guess I'm not the same me But thats how its suppose to be right? Searching for the stars Because I'm close to the night Afraid that I'ma drop the ball Like I ain't holding it right And judging by voice Fuck I'm supposed to be white, right? You know I grew up in the spotlight Thousand point scorer high school Had my shot right Always had a girl Getting head at a stoplight Never wanna leave school This is what the top like? Drinking 'cause it supposed be fun Like "fuck it I'm young" Man I'm supposed to be dumb Supposed to be numb Girl you ain't close to a nun There's supposed to be cum Come sunday you gon say that You'r done but hum Well I bet that your not Used to tell my ex girl "you forget that your hot" And these guys just wanna fuck you Wanna get to your spot Don't let us become undone Don't let em get to the knot Not gonna say that I wasn't crazy or insane But there were nights when you left me in pain Trust wasn't there We just evaporated The house that love built It became dilapidated, uh I had to build from the ground And two years later thats when I found The woman that I knew I would dedicate my life to And realized theres emotions that I can bring the mic to And since then it's been a battle never-ending Never had money So time I was never spending Started seeing money from the slow grind Major label cosign now They fucking think that I'm pretending? Nah nah, I promise you never that Speaking my mind is the thing that I am better at And I ain't got time for the politics Groupies, hollow chicks Thots that swallow dicks nah Tell you once again girl I'm taken Try to make a move I'm sorry but your mistaken Me and sara have a bond And it's never breaking Think about her when I sleep I think about her when I'm waking up Tell these rappers no they can't bait me Tell my friends You have every single right to hate me Money's what I'm making So I can't let it make me See how long it took So I can't let it take me Down, and if does then I sinking Really I'm just trying get a buzz When I'm drinking Missing all theses moments Always does when I'm blinking Crashed my moms car, kicked out of a bar What was I thinking? Nah, nah I wasn't, thats the truth Sorry I was drunk, thats just an excuse Thats just the proof My raps have substance Really to hide my substance abuse Traits from a birth mother That I never met Birthed from a father I forget Shit load of siblings that I regret to inform That we'll never be close 'cause me you don't get [hendersin talking] Nah and its not your fault Thats the way that I survived Way I stayed alive, when I went to the hospital For failure to thrive And when I look in the mirror Sometimes I think theres not too much to see But the one I can count on Is I will always have me And I struggle everyday like Why can't I let fucking people in? I don't know, I don't know Every single day I don't know why, I don't know why