Bless this day
Pinnacle of life
Husband joined to wife
The heart leaps up to behold
This golden day

Emma, I can't find my shoes
Today is for Emma
Emma, I give you the rest of my life
To cherish and to keep you, to honor you forever
Today is for Emma
My happily soon-to-be wife
Emma, we're really getting married

Pardon me, is everybody there?
Because if everybody's there
I want to thank you all for coming to the wedding,
I'd appreciate your going even more,
I mean you must have lots of better things to do,
And not a word of this to Will, remember Will, you know,
The man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin
anyone as wonderful as he is--
Thank you all
For the gifts and the flowers,
Thank you all,
Now it's back to the showers,
Don't tell Will,
But I'm not getting married today.

Bless this day
Tragedy of life
Husband joined to wife
The heart sinks down and feels dead
This dreadful day
Emma, I can't find my good cufflings

They're on the dresser, right next to my suicide note
Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for,
A wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual
Where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is
Maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, which is
Followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's
saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should--
Thanks a bunch,
But I'm not getting married
Go have lunch,
'Cause I'm not getting married
You've been grand,
But I'm not getting married
Don't just stand there,
I'm not getting married
And don't tell Will,
But I'm not getting married today.

Go, can't you go?
Why is no
Body listening?
Goodbye
Go and cry
At another person's wake
If you're quick
For a kick
You could pick
Up a christening
But please
On my knees
There's a human life at stake!

Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to
see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you, it isn't only Paul
who may be ruining his life, you know we'll both of us be losing
our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to
see him Monday, but by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with
the other garbage
I'm not well,
So I'm not getting married
You've been swell,
But I'm not getting married
Clear the hall,
'Cause I'm not getting married
Thank you all,
But I'm not getting married
And don't tell Will,
But I'm not getting married today.

Bless this bride
Totally insane
Slipping down the drain
And bless this day in our hearts
As it starts
To rain

Today is for Emma

Emma (will)
Go, can't you go? (Emma)
Look, you know (Emma)
I adore you all, (I give you)
But why (The rest of)
Watch me die (My life)
Like Eliza on the ice? (To cherish)
Look, perhaps (And to keep you)
I'll collapse (To honor you)
In the apse (Forever)
Right before you all, (Today is for Emma)
So take My happily
Back the cake, Soon-to-be
Burn the shoes and boil the rice. Wife,
Look, I didn't wanna have to My adorable
tell you, but I may be coming Wife.
down with Hepatitis, and I
think I'm gonna faint, so if
you wanna see me faint, I'll
do it happily, but wouldn't
it be funnier to go and watch
a funeral, so thank you for the
twenty-seven dinner plates,
thirty-seven butter knives,
forty-seven paperweights,
fifty-seven candleholders

One more thing
I am not getting married!

Amen!

Softly said
But I'm not getting married!

Amen!

With this ring
Still I'm not getting married!

Amen!

I thee wed.
See, I'm not getting married!

Amen!

Will (Emma):
Let us pray (Let us pray)
That we are getting married (That I'm not getting married)
Today!