My girl went to the doctor
cause her heart had palpitations
They cut the carbs,
or else she'd end up pushing up carnations
She stepped up on the scale and the doctor said "Oh Lordy"
If you don't drop a few, girl,
you won't make it past age forty

My girl said, "Hey lookie, on my fancy x-ray chart"
Said the doctor, "Holy hell that's one G.D. big ass heart"

I'm telling you my friend,
my girl's got a big ass heart
When she shops for groceries
that heart gets its own damn cart
That big ass heart can pump
two tons of love through her chest
And then sit down and win a lovin' pie-eating contest

I love that big ass heart so much I think it isn't fair
Like how your heart won't pay me back
for breaking all my chairs
So sick with love I think I'm coming down with rickets
When that big ass heart flies coach
it has to pay for two plane tickets

Oh, that big ass heart
Oh, that big ass heart