Let's grab some cash from Dad's wallet while he's asleep
and while we're at it, let's steal the old man's keys
We'll take his Volvo downtown, cruise around, check out the scene
We'll buy some beer and then do donuts in the parking lot across the street

CHORUS:
While the old man is asleep
into his bedroom we will creep
We'll steal his money and his keys
while the old man is asleep

Let's crack open his liquor cabinet and have a few
A couple for me, 15 for you!
Hey, take it easy, that's Dad's favourite chair you're covering in puke!

Let's play his records at 78
You know, at this speed, Paul Anka sounds great
Let's pop a couple of his heart pills just for fun

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA-HAA-HAA-HAAA!!!!!!

Hey, I don't hear him snoring anymore
Hey, hey, hey, he's in my van, and he's listening to hardcore!
Isn't that my wallet on the dash?
Isn't that my girlfriend in his lap??

I guess I musta been asleep
Into my bedroom he did creep
He stole my money and my girl
I guess I musta been asleep