I'm getting fat, but not as fat as I'm gonna be
and when I'm fat, it might not be very nice to see
but I don't give a damn about the size of my belt
and I don't really care about the looks that I get
I'm getting fat...whoopie.

I'm getting old (he's getting old)
but not as old as I'm gonna be
I'm getting hair (he's getting hair)
in places that it shouldn't be
and I don't really care about the kids of today
and I don't give a damn about the music they play
I'm getting old (he's getting old)...whoopie.

INDIFFERENT GUITAR SOLO

I'm getting drunk (he's getting drunk)
but not as drunk as I'm gonna be
and when I wake up (when he wakes up)
I'm gonna wish that I'd stayed aslep
but at least I'm waking up beside the girl of my dreams
I'm getting drunk (he's getting drunk)...whoopie.

I'm getting fat (he's getting fat), I'm getting old (he's getting
old), I'm getting drunk (he's getting drunk)...whoopie.
I'm getting old (he's getting old), I'm getting drunk (he's getting
drunk), I'm getting fat (he's getting fat)...whoopie.
I'm getting drunk (he's getting drunk), I'm getting fat (he's
getting fat), I'm getting old (he's getting old)...whoopie.
(Repeat like this until you pass out from either drunkenness or boredom.)