PHYLLIS:
Here's a little story that should make you cry,
About two unhappy dames.
Let us call them Lucy "X" and Jessie "Y",
Which are not their real names.
Now Lucy has the purity
Along with the unsurety
That comes with being only twenty-one.
Jessie has maturity
And plenty of security.
Whatever you can do with them she's done.
Given their advantages,
You may ask why
The two ladies have such grief
This is my belief,
In brief:
Lucy is juicy
But terribly drab.
Jessie is dressy
But cold as a slab.
Lucy wants to be dressy.
Jessie wants to be juicy.
Lucy wants to be Jessie
And Jessie Lucy.
You see, Jessie is racy
But hard as a rock.
Lucy is lacy
But dull as a smock.
Jessie wants to be lacy,
Lucy wants to be Jessie.
That's the sorrowful précis.
It's very messy.
Poor sad souls,
Itching to be switching roles.
Lucy wants to do what Jessie does,
Jessie want: to be what Lucy was.
CHORUS:
Now if you see Lucy "X,"
Youthful, truthful Lucy "X,"
Let her know she's better than she suspects.
Now if you see Jessie "Y,"
Faded, jaded Jessie "Y"
Tell her that she's sweller than apple pie.
Juicy Lucy.
Dressy Jessie.
Juicy Lucy,
Dressy Jessie...
PHYLLIS:
Lucy's a lassie
You pat on the head.
Jessie is classy
But virtually dead.
Lucy wants to be classy.
Jessie wants to be Lassie.
If Lucy and Jessie could only combine,
I could tell you someone
Who would finally feel just fine!
CHORUS:
Juicy Lucy...
PHYLLIS:
Just fine!
CHORUS:
Dressy Jessie...
PHYLLIS:
Just fine!
CHORUS:
Juicy Lucy...
PHYLLIS:
Just fine!
CHORUS:
Dressy Jessie...
ALL:
Tell 'em that they ought to get together quick,
'Cause getting it together is the whole trick!
PHYLLIS:
Yeah!