I hardly think I'm qualified
To come across all sanctified
I just don't cut it with the cherubim
The town's already on its knees
Being worshipped is a breeze
I barely know the words to any hymn

Listen, if we don't comply
To the locals' wishes I
Can see us being sacrificed or stuffed
Let's be gods, the perks are great
El Dorado on a plate
Local feeling should not be rebuffed

It's tough to be a god
Tread where mortals have not trod
Be deified when really you're a sham
Be an object of devotion
Be the subject of psalms
It's a terrifying notion
All those prayers and those salaams
Any normal man would bridle
If he's forced to be an idol
And a normal man's exactly what I am

All the same, it's pretty clear
The scoundrels don't keep much up here
They must have zillions under lock and key
But gods can force them to unleash
Enough to make us nouveau riche
Beyond our wildest dreams, so follow me!

Can't you see I won't relax
If religious maniacs
Tell me I'm all-powerful and sublime
How can I be their belief
When I'm lying through my teeth?
Why don't we just say, "some other time"?

It's tough to be a god
But if you get the people's nod
Count your blessings, keep them sweet is my advice
Be nirvana, be salvation
Be all things to all men
Butter up your congregation
Every Sunday score a ten
The alternative is dire
Simply frying pan to fire
So sign on two new gods for paradise