If I were a bro
If I turned out that way
I’d roll off the couch in the morning
and put on what I wore yesterday

Buy a huge TV
Just to watch Big Lebowski
Oh my god what smells like tuna
I should have had my Mom do laundry
This is my only hoodie

If I were a Bro
I think I could understand
Why somehow it makes you cooler
To walk around like elephants

Go to a party
But I’d stand near the door
Slammin brewhounds back with my bros
Making fun of all the homos
dancing with the girls on the floor

If I were a bro
I’d never party alone
Always roll deep with the brothers
And pregame ’til I’m fucked out my dome (my dome)

If I were a bro
I’d double up on polos
Popping up both of my collars
Cuz I know I’m looking baller
Pop the puka on I’m ready to go

Dude I’m psyched for spring break, we’re gonna rock Daytona
Just a couple of fakes and there’ll be bitches on ya
And in the pictures we’ll take you know, fingers UP!

But you’re just a bro
so you don’t understand
why when you do not take a shower
you only get a job from a hand

You think it’s funny
dancing close with your friends
You are not really fooling me man
cuz I know that you’ve got feelings
For Mark and Chad and Nate and Leo

But you’re just a bro