hello hello
is this the P.E.D.?
well i just got
an obscene call
he threatened my life
with a boy scout knife
and a bad invitation to ball
but officer please
put me at ease
would you repeat what you just said?
there ain't nothin' that you
can begin to do
not until i can prove
i'm dead?

hello, oh hi
is this the F.B.I.?
got at obscene call
on the phone
he threatened my life
with a boy scout knife
and i'm scared 'cause i'm all alone
what d'you mean
you're on the scene
you are watching me all the time
you go binoculars trained
on my window pain
just in case i commit
a crime?

hello, oh hey
is this the C.I.A.?
well this call came
an hour ago
and the F.B.I.
thinks that i'm a spy
and you say you already know
cause you got a bug
in my navajo rug
and my telephone's tapped
of course
well who permitted this game
oh the orders came
they all came from
a higher source?

hello station to station
united nations?
someone called before
and it was real obscene
would you intervene?
oh you're too busy
ending the war
well treaties and pacts
those are big time acts
ending war takes guts and gall
but did you ever explore
what begins a war?
it begins with
an obscene call!

hello G.O.D.
hello this is me
listen god there's this call
that i got
and i've tried them all
tried the big and small
i called the
whole inoperative lot
i tried the F.B.I.
and the C.I.A.
and the keepers of
the country clean
what do you mean
you're inclined to find
this call of mine obscene?
but we've been traced
we've been spaced
we've been human erased
we've been mugged
we've been bugged
we've been detected
we've been...
hello god?
god?
we've been
disconnected!