The only ring I gave her came collect from county
She finally called it quits
and said she's better off without me
And I'd be better off if I could stay out of this glass
But on this here stool
this here fool is swearin' she'll come back

She says I ain't got a shot, but I'm sittin' here with two
I can't stop falling off the top of good ole Mountain Dew
They oughta make the bottle a little harder to get into
But they don't make that liver killer
corn mash, brown liquor
Black label, loudmouth soup
Fool proof

It's like it sees me comin', and pours itself into
A man who's down to nothin', feelin' Johnny Walkеr Blue
It makes me dial hеr number when it makes me drink enough
And it wakes me up hungover
and makes her keep on hangin' up

Sayin' I ain't got a shot, but I'm sitting here with two
I can't stop falling off the top of good ole Mountain Dew
They oughta make the bottle a little harder to get into
But they don't make that liver killer
corn mash, brown liquor
Black label, loudmouth soup
Fool proof

Fool me once, hell, fool me twice
Just fool me strong and over ice

I ain't got a shot, but I'm sitting here with two
I can't stop falling off the top of good ole Mountain Dew
They oughta make the bottle a little harder to get into
But they don't make that liver killer
corn mash, brown liquor
Black label, loudmouth soup
Fool proof

Fool proof