Locking doors, spotless pores, finding comfort in a total bore, the number four,
Genealogical lore, nothing feels good unless I've felt it before.

The neighbor's gay, he shouldn't be that way,
I'm gonna treat him like a person but not today, when I'm old and grey, and
he's dying of AIDS, I'm gonna stop by his bed to remind him to pray.

Melvin is locking doors
He makes everything a chore
And he don't really care no more
Melvin is locking doors

Nervous when my little woman friend makes me kinda wanna be a man again.
Don't wanna bend, better to offend, but I'll get pissed when she looks at other men.

Melvin is locking doors
He makes everything a chore
And he don't really care no more

Melvin is locking doors
Locking doors, salting sores, when one wimp winces we'll win this war,
Show me some gore, man I'm so hardcore, but it doesn't feel good unless I've felt it before.
Nothing feels good unless I've felt it before.