If you have a kid who complains all the time
Hollers and pouts and cries and whines,
Screams and stomps his feet all day
Don't be angry, give him away
Don't be angry, give him away

Follow my advice and you will see,
Things will be better than you'd ever believe
You don't have to worry when he's immature
Who needs understanding, this works for sure
Who needs understanding, this works for sure

If your little brother isn't very good
And won't do a thing that a good boy should
I've got a thing that'll set that right
Lock him in a box and he's outta sight
Lock him in a box and he's outta sight

If you have a sister who's a nasty brat
Don't tell her little girls shouldn't act like that
My method is simple to understand
Package her securely and ship her to Iran
Package her securely and ship her to Iran