I got snot, I got phlegm,
I got a lot more problems, let me tell you 'bout them:
I sit still, I get rest,
I take pills and aspirin and never get dressed.

I eat soup, I sip tea,
I'm taking vitamin C but it doesn't help me.
I still sniff, I still sneeze,
I'm coughin' pretty often and I also wheeze.
I got snot, I got phlegm,
I got a lot more problems, let me tell you 'bout them:
I sit still, I get rest,
I take pills and aspirin and never get dressed.

I can't sing, I can't talk.
I'm so busy, but I'm dizzy, can't even walk.
I'm a mess...I guess.
My head is hot, got congestion in my chest.
I got snot, I got phlegm,
I got a lot more problems, let me tell you 'bout them:
I sit still, I get rest,
I take pills and aspirin and never get dressed.

Listen please! I'm diseased.
It's no thrill being ill. I can hardly breathe.
I need a doctor. I'll take a vet.
I need a shot and a pot and don't forget:
I got snot, I got phlegm,
I got a lot more problems, let me tell you 'bout them:
I sit still, I get rest,
I take pills and aspirin and never get dressed.

I'm so weak. I can't speak.
I need a cure for sure or I'll be sick a week.
I've got aches. I've got pains.
I'm bloated and coated with spots and stains.
I got snot, I got phlegm,
I got a lot more problems, let me tell you 'bout them:
I sit still, I get rest,
I take pills and aspirin and never get dressed.

I've thrown up. I'm so frail.
I'd try to stand up but I know I'd fail.
My eyes water, my ears ring.
I'm out of breath, close to death and weakening.
I got snot, I got phlegm,
I got a lot more problems, let me tell you 'bout them:
I sit still, I get rest,
I take pills and aspirin and never get dressed