If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
(I'd build a tree-fort in our yard)
If I had a million dollars
(You could help it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had a million dollars
(Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge
In there somewhere)
We could just go up there and hang out
(Like open the fridge and stuff
And there'd all be foods laid out for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
They have pre-wrapped sausages
But they don't have pre-wrapped bacon)
Well, can you blame them?
(Yeah!)

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur a coat
(But not a real fur coat, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
(We wouldn't have to walk to the store)
If I had a million dollars
(We'd take a Limousine 'cause it costs more)
If I had a million dollars
(We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner)

"But we would eat Kraft dinner
(Of course we would, we'd just eat more)
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
(That's right, all the fanciest - Dijon ketchups)

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich