Self-images

This relationship was unbelievable difficulty
and it pushed every single bottom that I have

And it pushed me in a way that I
never believed that I can be pushed before
I suffered throught this relationship in ways
that I could never imagine, possible imagine
suffering

And yet at something point in it, it was a
completely disfuncional disaster
I had become a total
emotional rack by going thru
At something I realized
"this is insane"
It took sometime to I realize this
but I realize
"this is insanity, what I'm doing? "

And I start to realize something very important
Once again I got me self there by not being
totally true with myself. By leting desire
attachment, and aversion
to pull me in this very destructive
sort of relationship
And I realized that the only way to get out
was going to be radicaly and
deeply honest with myself
By take total responsability
for where I ended up
And what was seing was that
the only way to do that
was to totally let go every image
that I have about myself

Nice person, or awake person, or wise person
or stupid person, wathever
Every image that I have, now
was actually
part of what had driving me
into this situation

And the only way to get out of it
was start to let go of everything
that got me in to this in the first place
And mostly what got me into it
was the very ways that I still
perceive myself, on the egoic level