[i've not been feeling well lately
that empty grinding deep inside my gut
shivering cold sweats while i'm sleeping
confused, lost, and tired i've been thinking a lot]

walking over a dead world
sinking as i slide further in
lost in all the decay
in all the crumbling textures

all is gone now, all is lost . . .
i become like nothing . . .
i fade away . . .
lying cold and dying,
an empty shadow cloaked in dusk
no warmth, no feeling, no sensation,
no love, no god, no future
i've become a corpse

wandering aimlessly through the streets
swallowed by the city lights ablaze around me
groping through the choking haze surrounding
lost among this churning sea of strangers

[looking up now,
feeling empty
the barren sky
arching above me
i feel so small--
not even present
left behind . . .
forgotton . . . ]

all is dying, all receeding . . .
my world is slowly graying . . .
i fade away . . .
lying cold and dying,
becoming nothing,
an empty shadow cloaked in dusk
no warmth, no feelings, no sensation,
no love, no god, no future
i've become a corpse

[how are you doing today?
i apologize for being rather anti-social at your house the other day
i was extremely tired
not focused
however, i have a question for you.

(sometimes i feel the need to . . . )

i thought you might enjoy a little (un?)stimulating communication
without actually having to look me in the eye.
although i do believe that you would be perfectly capable of doing that
(look me in the eye)
you probably would not want to.

it's a rip-off
common, exausting, and depressing
expendable

confused, lost, and tired
i have been thinking a lot

for me:
stay away from all human beings as much as possible
(that is not working very well - but i try)

(sometimes i feel the need to . . . )

do not worry i won't call you
i do not think either of us could handle that.
by the way, i do like being here.

(goodbye)


-finish my thoughts-